Abstinence.

I figured that title would catch your attention.  

Was I correct in my assumption?

The topic of abstinence on a blog called "The Wife Diaries" probably sounds a little odd, right?  Well, don't worry - Craig and I have sex - we are definitely NOT abstinent.  BUT.... we were until we got married.  I know this really isn't the norm anymore, so sometimes when people find this out, their response tends to be shock.  I'll tell you more about this in a minute, but the reason I am even talking about this was because I received a question via the formspring we have for this blog about the topic (feel free to ask any of us more questions here).  Here is the question:

To Lauren H--How did you and your husband decide to abstain until marriage? Was it hard? Do you regret it?

So....here's my answer....

The short answer is that Craig and I saved sex for marriage for "religious" reasons.  I actually hate the word religion because it sounds so sterile and unrelatable, but for lack of a better term, that's the reason.  I believe that God intended sex to be enjoyed within marriage.  I know that not everyone who reads this blog will share my faith or my opinions on this topic and I can completely understand that.  I do not judge others who have sex before marriage.  I can completely understand why people do and I don't blame them.  There were many times I considered doing the same.  So please don't feel judged as I write this, because I promise that is not my intent.

Craig and I started dating in high school.  Regardless of my moral stance on the subject of sex I was most definitely not ready for it in high school - I was a senior and Craig was a sophomore.  Also, I quite honestly didn't really think that far into the future and even though I knew it was a possibility, I never really thought that deciding to wait to have sex 'til I was married would mean waiting for six LONG years.  

A few years into dating it got really difficult.  I was out on my own and trying to figure out my faith for myself and I didn't really care to wait anymore.  Lucky for me I have a stubborn husband who sticks by his beliefs and wouldn't give in....even when I would get mad at him for it.  I'm not going to lie and say we were perfect because we weren't, but we did manage to save sex for our wedding night and on that day I thanked my husband for loving me enough to do what was best for me by waiting.  

I absolutely do not regret waiting to have sex until we were married.  Our wedding night was incredibly special and even though it obviously wasn't the perfect, it wasn't super awkward and painful like I thought and we were both in the same boat....figuring it out together with the rest of our lives to learn how to perfect it.

I'm not going to tell you that waiting doesn't have it's challenges, but knowing that Craig has been my only partner and I was his only is so nice.  I never have to worry about comparing to other girls and vice versa.  For us this was the right decision.

I feel super vulnerable putting this all out there, but my hope is that you guys will be understanding and know that I am just sharing my heart instead of pushing an agenda.  I really and truly do appreciate all of your questions and the thoughtful comments that all of you who read this blog leave.  

Don't forget, if you have any other questions, feel free to ask us using our formspring.  If it's a question for a specific wife, please specify that in your question.

Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

xo

{Lauren}