The Dreaded Question

Last night, my best friend got married! YEAH! It was such a beautiful evening - a very personal wedding, filled with little touches of the bride and groom. You know it's a great wedding when the bride sings "Ice Ice Baby" in the middle of the dance floor and doesn't.miss.a.single.word. She's nutty, and that's why I love her:) Word to yo motha...

Speaking of "mothas", the wedding really had my head spinning - because now I am in the phase of my life (and now my bestie is joining me), where, instead of asking about wedding plans, the next logical question I am constantly asked by family and friends is:

"So when are you having kids?"

Ugh. Does / has anyone else experienced this? (Salt, just you wait...)

Please understand that these next few words are in no way, shape or form, meant to sound judgmental. It's just that I am very conflicted about children, and like anyone else, am simply trying to sort through my feelings.

My response usually consists of a giggle and a "Oh, we're not sure / We'll see / We just really want to enjoy married life for the time being..." when all I really want to say is: "Seriously?KIDS? Have you SEEN how some of them act in public? I teach high school for a living! Do you KNOW what some of them become? They swear! And drink! And hit each other. And let's not even discuss childbirth OR the first 16 years of their life, thankyouverymuch."

I am so totally, without a doubt, NOT ready for children. They scare the crap out of me, and to be quite honest, many of the people in my life with children rarely share the "good stories". I typically hear about how they can never go out, how hard it is to potty train, how much it sucks to lose the baby weight, etc. Don't get me wrong - I DO want children, but right now I am at the stage in my life where the negatives outweigh the positives. So until the pendulum shifts, I DO plan to enjoy this time with the hubby and travel, check out new restaurants and live it up in the city until we're ready to take that next step. And perhaps finally learn the words to Vanilla Ice while I still have the time.

(we heart it)

Do you want / have children? How did you know when you were ready?

I'm a WIFE!!!

I am proud to say that I can now post here in good conscience!

On February 27th at 3pm, the love of my life (cheesy I know, but trust me it's true!) and I said our 'i do's on a beautiful tropical island. It was a perfect day. Even if something had gone wrong, I probably wouldn't have noticed because I was too busy smiling until my face hurt.

We're back home and enjoying our second week of newlywedded bliss. Being married doesn't feel much different. We already cohabitated for the past year and a half so there is no getting used to a shared living space. Mostly, it seems like we are being extra special nice to each other. Like last night I ordered a delicious pasta dish when we were out for my birthday dinner and planned on eating the leftovers today, but when I got home from work they were gone. I'm assuming he ate them, but I'm not even mad about it. Instead I ordered Thai food and even got some for him, too, so he has something to eat when he gets home.

Now I'm totally picturing myself a year from now calling and yelling at him for eating my dinner if this happens again.

Anyway, I already made the trek to social security yesterday and officially changed my name...a process that took a whopping 10 MINUTES. Is that unheard of or what? I'm still getting used to calling him my husband and hearing myself referred to as a Mrs., but I'm sure it will feel like it was never any other way soon enough.

Until then, we're just settling back in! Our cats are enjoying having their mom and dad together in marriage at last and we are deciding our approach at the next big step...buying a house!

Thank you all so much for the sweet congrats in Krysten's post the other day!

Magic Spark

Through Formspring, Jenni from absent minded asked:

I know this is a dorky way to preface a question but it's the only way to describe it. A few nights ago on The Bachelor, Jake, was describing why he chose the woman he did by repeatedly saying they had the "magic spark." What is this magic spark?

My answer... I have no idea.

I remember the day I met Dustin. I walked into Perkins on my 3rd day of work and there was this tall, dark haired, dark eyed boy standing behind the counter. I introduced myself and I remember thing, "My my, he is cute!"

That night he made me feel at ease, joking around and pretty much goofing off when there weren't customers around. And I will say that I felt something there, but I would call it my initial attraction to him.

Sometimes I think that the "magic spark" is something that books and TV have made up to make everything seem more romantic. I hate to say that because I used to consider myself a total hopeless romantic. And while I still love a good love story, I feel like I have a more realistic look at love too.

Maybe the "magic spark" for Jake and Vienna was the fact that Jake wanted to get her into bed (and she seemed to make it so easy that night she wore that lingerie for him - who does that on a national dating show). Or maybe Dustin and I just took longer to get hit by cupid's arrow and we didn't experience that spark.

I'd love to hear what others have to say on the issue!

Exes

So here's a question:

Are you friends with any of your exes?
{via}

I ask this question relatively often because I'm a little baffled by MY situation.

I am friendly with a few of my exes, which basically means we're friends on Facebook and if I ran into them somewhere I'd probably stop and say hello. One includes my very first boyfriend who I just happened to stay in touch with over the years and another is the first guy I dated in college who broke up with me through email (and has since apologized).

However, I consider myself to be better friends with the guy I was with right before Dustin and I got together. I would call him my big heartbreak. He was also the one I lost my virginity to which I think made it harder for me to let go. In any case, when we finally split for good we stopped talking for months.

Then one day I decided I missed talking to him. I was already with Dustin at the time but Dustin has always trusted me and so I contacted this ex to say hello. At the time he was also dating someone and she and I ended up becoming friends. So much so that the four of us would hang out from time to time. Dustin and this ex get along relatively well and we all had fun together.

To this day I am still friends with this ex. He and I will get together from time to time for coffee or lunch and I know if I were in a bad situation and for whatever reason Dustin couldn't be there I could call this ex and he'd help me out. He's that kind of a person, part of the reason I wanted to stay friendly.

I will say this. I think that being friends with an ex can only happen in certain situations and I think it takes significant others that trust you. I'm lucky enough that Dustin knows me and knows that my friendship with my ex is nothing but a friendship.

In any case, I've always wondered if anyone else has had a similar experience and if they ever stop and think, "Wow, this is weird."